Sagami Minami and Hikigaya Hachiman
by EverythingYouDoIsABalloon
Summary: The time is currently about 1PM in the lovely city of Chiba, in the Chiba Prefecture of Japan. And in a small house in a nice neighborhood in small world in a small solar system in a small galaxy in a big universe, lays a girl with short red hair on her bed. She's looking up at the ceiling and has been doing so for the past hour and a half. This girl's name is Sagami Minami.
1. Sagami Minami is staring at the ceiling

**A/N: This is for that one guest who asked for a story involving Sagami, sorry it took so goddamn long. Also, this is my first time writing in third person, so sorry if it sounds sorta awkward and all. Also I created a bit of a backstory for Sagami, since not much is known about her.**

* * *

 **Sagami Minami is staring at the ceiling**

The time is currently about 1PM in the lovely city of Chiba, in the Chiba Prefecture of Japan. And in a small house in a nice neighborhood in small world in a small solar system in a small galaxy in a big universe, lays a girl with short red hair on her bed. She's looking up at the ceiling and has been doing so for the past hour and a half. This girl's name is Sagami Minami. She's a student currently attending Sobu High, a rather fine establishment of a school. A school she spent the better half of her middle school life studying to get into, in order to get away from, as she would call 'asshats', that tormented her throughout her middle school life. She was tormented due to her looks, she was rather overweight during the time, and decided that she had had enough. She made it her goal to get into a school that she knew no one from her middle school would attend. And during the last few months of middle school, she also made it her goal to lose weight. And she did.

She also upped her wardrobe for casual wear, throwing away old clothes that were now too big for her. And she felt good about doing that. She accomplished a goal and stuck with it, something she can't say she's ever done. And now here she is, lying here, still as a corpse, staring off into the ceiling as if it were the night sky. Why is she doing this? Is she depressed? Having a bad day? Well, it's all that and more.

Y'see, about 2 weeks ago, this 'lonely bastard' as she calls him, named Hikigaya Hachiman, insulted the living hell outta her. Why? Did she do something wrong? Did she deserve it? Those are the questions that have been invading her mind since the incident, which we will now refer to as 'The Rooftop Incident'. But that's not the only thing invading her mind. She's been having conflicting thoughts as of late. Thoughts about that 'lonely bastard' Hikigaya Hachiman.

Hikigaya Hachiman is a tall hunched over fellow, who's main notable trait are his, as most put it, 'rotten eyes' and his completely unremarkable presence. This poor lonely bastard of a man has the eyes of a dead fish. How unfortunate, right? But there's no need to fret. As this young man is surrounded by women whom are atrracted to him. However, as like most anime/manga/light novel characters, he is completely oblivious to their feelings. Or, rather, he chooses to be ignorant of their and his feelings.

He's also quite the intelligent lad. Scoring within the top three in Japanese and English, but completely failing pretty much everything else. He's terrible at Maths, the Sciences and somehow Lunch. He's also terrible when it comes to his and others feelings. He's constantly relying on logic rather than emotions. So much so that he's sometimes referred to as 'The Monster of Logic' by a devilish woman with too much time on her hands who's also crushing hard on said 'Monster of Logic'.

This girl, Haruno Yukinoshita, is just one of the many girls whom harbor affectionate feelings towards Hikigaya Hachiman. She likes him because of how cruel and pessemistic he is, often seeing through others with those rotten eyes she adores so much. Her own sister, Yukinoshita Yukino, also likes Hikigaya Hachiman, because he is her pillar of support and banting partner. Yukinoshita's best friend, Yuigahama Yui, also has feelings for him, a certain puppy-like love for saving her own puppy, whom also has a puppy-like love for Hikigaya and often wags his tail when he sees those fishy eyes. The black lace wearing Kawasaki Saki habors uncertain feelings aswell. Hikigaya Hachiman, after all, confessed his feelings to her, screaming "Love ya, Kawasaki!", while running away from her and causing the motorcycle to overheat and take some time to herself locked in a stall in the boys bathroom she accidentally ran into. This other girl- boy, I mean, is also crushing hard on him. This little angel is called Totsuka Saika. This young handsome swan causes Hikigaya Hachiman to question his sexuality at times, something Totsuka Saika wouldn't mind helping with.

But none of those really matter now, because this story is about Sagami Minami. As mentioned in the first paragraph, she's lying on her bed staring off into the ceiling. She's been doing so for the past hour and a half. She's not only depressed, but she's also having a bad day. She keeps thinking about the Cultural Festival and 'The Rooftop Incident'.

Sagami Minami was chosen to be the head representative for her class along with the lonely bastard. She was chosen because her dream boat, Hayama Hayato, the stupidly handsome dashing young man with a 100-watt smile who's also the most fakest piece of absolute shit in the world, suggested her to become the main female rep for the class. Sagami Minami being the way she is, desperate for attention and full of desire to impress others, accepted the suggestion and thus her fate was sealed.

She hadn't really noticed the fact that Hikigaya Hachiman was the main male rep for her class. She didn't really know, or care, who he was. She had ran into him during the Fireworks Festival. He had been hanging with Yuigahama Yui, the girl with a puppy-like love for him, when she saw him. She chatted with Yuigahama Yui for a bit and stole glances at the oaf. Hikigaya Hachiman was just standing off to the side looking like an idiot, he had looked over at their direction with a small glare, a glare Sagami Minami returned with no complaints. From that glare alone, the both of them knew that there was a mutual hatred between them, even if they were to never meet again.

She noticed him again when he passed her to get into his seat. She glared at the back of his skull and saw him turn around after he sat down to return the glare. Again, the mutual hatred between them was evident. You could cut the sexual tens- You could see the amount of hatred in their eyes.

She noticed him again after she was made the rep for the committee, when this pretty young woman came to school. This pretty young woman's name is Haruno Yukinoshita, the girl who calls Hikigaya Hachiman 'The Monster of Logic', who's also crushing hard on him and who's sister was also crushing on, albeit in a discreet manner, who in turn has a best friend named Yuigahama Yui, who's also crushing hard on Hikigaya, and this girl has a friend in her clique named Ebina Hina who's friends with Kawasaki Saki, the black lace wearing motorcycle, another girl who's crushing hard on Hikigaya, and all of these girls have something in common: They know of a boy who is named Totsuka Saika, who's also crushing hard on Hikigaya. You see? Everything boils down to Hikigaya Hachiman's sweet sweet angel Totsuka Saika. Totsuka Saika is the _key._

This young woman came in and strutted her way straight to Hikigaya Hachiman, who's face had a look of pure tiredness, obviously revealing that he's put up with her shit before. This young woman, acted all touchy feely with Hikigaya Hachiman, something that irked Sagami Minami. She thought 'Why the hell is a beautiful woman like her, interacting with a creep like him?". After chatting with Hikigaya Hachiman, Haruno Yukinoshita made her way to the front. She sided with Sagami, something she was glad about, but with ill intention. Haruno is often called a 'Devil' and for good reason too.

Certain events happened after that, mainly Sagami putting off her work to other members of the committee, causing them to harbor feelings of contempt, and her completely failing to deliver a speech. Soon after that the infamous 'Rooftop Incident' took place, we'll discuss that later.

Anywhoots, Sagami Minami is lying here. She decided she's had enough of staring at the ceiling and decided what to do. But what should she do? She said aloud.

"But what should I do?" Sagami Minami said aloud in her spacious crimson walled room full of cute posters of cute dogs and cats and bears.

Sagami Minami's room is pretty nice. Spacious and full of all sorts of things. Her walls are a pretty shade of crimson. Her bed is a nice size, her blankets and covers are all crimson, her pillows a clean white. Her floor is a clean shade of light brown, there aren't any imperfections with her carpet. She takes care of it after all. Her bed is in the far left corner of her room when you walk in, next to it is a window that gives Sagami a nice view of the city of Chiba. Next to her bed is her drawer, where she keeps random items and where she has her alarm clock and small light. Next to that is her desk which stands directly in front of another window. The only place in Sagami's room that isn't clean. There are papers and pencils and pens and colored pencils and different colored pens and sketchbooks and watercolor pads and erasers and notebooks and brushes and pencil pouches and other things that litter her desk. It isn't really known to her friends, but Sagami Minami is quite the talented drawer. One of the things she's most proud of. On the right side of the wall, is her flat screen T.V that sits on top of a wooden T.V stand with a cabinet, that when open, reveals her gaming systems and video games along with her collection of blu-rays of movies. She's quite the closet gamer, and is secretly an anime fan, her favorite directors being the great Hayao Miyazaki and Masaaki Yuasa, both a great inspiration for her in regards to her art style.

Her closet stands on the side next to her door directly across from her red bed. And on her bed lies a laptop and a Wacom drawing pad, both of which she uses to draw in Photoshop and other software, often drawing cute posters of cute dogs and cats and bears and landscapes and cityscapes and people and their faces and other things.

She swung her legs over her bed and stood up, gently dusting off the nonexistent dirt from the skirt she was currently wearing, she looked around the crimson walled room full of cute posters of cute dogs and cats and bears. She looked to her closet and then down to her clothes. Sagami Minami is currently wearing a simple light blue shirt and a simple maroon skirt, along with some cute socks that had cute pictures of cute dogs and cats and bears. Sagami Minami loves cute dogs and cats and bears. She decided to change into something else.

"I should change into something else" Sagami Minami decided and muttered aloud.

She walked over to her closet and opened it. She glazed over the contents of her closet. It consists of mainly red clothing articles. Sagami Minami loves the color red. She always had loved the color red. The color red reminded her of her now deceased mother. She was a wonderful woman, she remembers. Her mother died when she was just 5 and her father remarried when she was 7, to an equally wonderful woman with pretty auburn hair that's usually tied in a ponytail. Sagami Minami loves her mother dearly, she also loves her step-mother just as dearly. She can't say that she loves her father, however. He left three years after he remarried and she hasn't heard from him since. Her mother works all the time to support her and doesn't see her often. But when they do see each other, they spend the time together. Often watching Hayao Miyazaki movies in the living room or simply basking in the comfortable silence that envelops them or talking about cute dogs and cats and bears, something her mother loves as well.

After looking through her closet she picked out short maroon shorts, and a white button up. She grabbed both and flung them on the bed. She walked over and undressed herself, making sure to lock the door and close her curtains. After a while she put on the short maroon shorts and the white button up. She rolled the sleeves on the button up to get a more casual look and headed for her door to go down the stairs and get her shoes. She did so and went down the stairs to go and get her shoes, which were red shoes, of course.

She headed out the door while softly saying goodbye, despite the fact that she knew her mother is working right now and wont me home until nightfall.

"Goodbye, I'll be back soon" She whispered to no one in particular.

Once outside and once she let her eyes adjust to the sun's rays she realized something. She didn't know where she was going.

"Wait... where am I going?" She realized.

Instead of going and walking out and down the sidewalk, she just sat down on the steps leading to her house. She rested her elbows on her knees and held up her head with the palm of her hands. She whistled a tune absentmindedly whilst she thought of where to go.

I can go to the mall, maybe? She thought. I can go to the park? She thought. I can maybe go to a café? She though.

"Yea I'll do that" She answered her third question.

Sagami Minami decided to go to the cafe. She got up and walked down the cobblestone path onto the sidewalk and took a left. She walked down the sidewalk with her hands in her pockets and her head looking straight down the sidewalk.

Sagami Minami had always been this way. She's always been more on the tomboyish side in regards to her looks and to a certain extent, in regards to her personality. She's never really dressed up in skirts, apart from her school skirt and the skirt she wears when she's lazing around the house or just when she's laying in bed staring at the ceiling, and prefers things like jeans and shorts and simple tees. However, she will dress up if the occasion asks for it. One such occasion being the Fireworks Festival, the place she first saw Hikigaya Hachiman.

After walking for what seemed to be about 15 minutes, she finally made it to her destination. A small café that's next to a small little bookstore called "Paige Turner's Books"[1]. Sagami Minami's first mother and current step-mother often took her to this café. So much so, that the owner of the small café, an American woman in her late thirties but looked as if she were in her early twenties, named Lorelai, more or less became Sagami's second- or rather, third mother.

And Lorelai feels the same way, she sees Sagami as her own daughter. Lorelai feels this way because she herself has never had a daughter. She is infertile and has no husband- or rather wife due to her sexuality, to speak of. And Sagami's deceased mother and current step-mother are okay with this. Sagami also loves Lorelai like she loves her previous and current mother.

Sagami Minami entered the café and heard the small jingle when she opened the door. She saw Lorelai picking up a few cups from the front counter and walked towards her. She gently tapped her on the shoulder when she reached her. Turning around, Lorelai saw Sagami smiling at her.

"Oh! Sagami, dear! How are you?" She said to Sagami as she put down the cups and hugged Sagami, burying her face in the crook of her neck.

"I'm doing pretty decent, Lorelai. How's business?" Sagami asked after returning the hug and basking in the warmness and scent of lavender and coffee, something she could lose herself in.

"Oh y'know, same ol' same ol', most of the usual customers are here" She said after the hug ended.

Lorelai smiled at Sagami and cupped her cheek and stroked it lovingly with her thumb. She asked:

"So, how's your mother?"

"Working as usual" Sagami answered

"Working as usual, huh? She sure is a hard worker" Lorelai remarked as she went back behind the counter.

"Yeah, she sure is" Sagami agreed while looking at the overhead menu. She decided on a simple cup of coffee.

"What would you like, sweetie?" Lorelai asked for her order.

"Just some coffee is fine. Extra sweet"

Lorelai went and got a small cup and filled it with some hot unsweetened coffee from the coffee machine, she added some cream and extra sugar to it and handed it to Sagami, who was waiting patiently behind the counter.

"Here you go sweetie" Lorelai put the cup down next to Sagami "You're gonna rot your teeth someday, dear."

Sagami paid no mind as she took a sip of the sweet coffee. Sagami has always had a sweetooth.

"Your just like another customer of mine, funny thing is, he's about your age too. I think he goes to your school too, I think" Sagami raised her brow at this "You go to Sobu, yeah?" Lorelai asked

"Mm-hmm" Sagami hummed in response.

"Maybe you know him?" Lorelai asked the young girl

"He's a bit taller than you, black messy long hair, seemed to never smile, and get this- he has the most unique pair of eyes I've ever seen"

Sagami looked up at Lorelai after drinking her coffee and asked "Unique eyes?" with a certain level of hesitation. It couldn't be him, she thought.

"Yeah, he told me people tell him that his eyes look like that of a 'rotten fish'" She told the younger girl.

Sagami's eyes widened with surprise. She knew who Lorelai was talking about. She's talking about Hikigaya Hachiman, the number one loner of Sobu High who has way to many girls falling for him. His eyes are his most prominent feature, other than being completely unremarkable.

Sagami had a whirlwind of thoughts at this point. Hikigaya comes to this café? Why would he come here? Since when? And does he know Lorelai like I know her? Is he actually here right now? He's not a regular is he?

Sagami turned her head behind her to see the rest of the inside of the café. She surveyed the denizens and found that Hikigaya Hachiman is nowhere to be seen in the small café.

However, unbeknownst to her, Hikigaya Hachiman was next door. He is currently browsing the Light Novel section of the small bookstore named 'Paige Turner's Books', and will be moving on to the Mystery section very soon. After that, Hikigaya Hachiman will have a hankering for a cup 'o joe, and will go next to the café. Doing so will cause a plethora of events to happen: an argument with Sagami, a nice cup of coffee, the arrival of the Devil, conflicting emotions, ramen shops and walks in the parks.

Hikigaya doesn't know that'll he'll cause it, but everything that'll happen to him will be one of the best things to ever happen to him.

* * *

 **Next Chapter: Hikigaya goes into the Café**

[1] Paige Turner's Books is a fictional bookstore in the town of Motorville in the Level-5 and Studio Ghibli video game 'Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch. Also there has to be someone named Paige Turner who owns a bookstore, it not then that's bullshit.[2]

[2] Footnote/ Reference in a footnote?[3] Fraser, the main host of the Youtube channel 'farfromsuble' stated this when playing Ni No Kuni: "If I ever met a Paige Turner and find out she didn't own a bookstore, I would call her an asshole."- Fraser Agar- To Be A Wizard!- Ni No Kuni is AWESOME- Part 3

[3] David Foster Wallace is notorious for his use of footnotes in his work, he often had a footnote within a footnote and referenced other footnotes that created a sorta labyrinth of footnotes.


	2. Hikigaya goes into the Café

**A/N: Hey, I'm here with the second chapter. Hope ya enjoy. SORRY FOR THE WALL OF TEXT AT THE BOTTOM, btw.**

* * *

 **Hikigaya goes into the Café**

If you read the first chapter of this story called 'Sagami Minami and Hikigaya Hachiman', you should have an idea what this chapter should be about. The title of this chapter is 'Hikigaya goes into the Café', and that's exactly what he's gonna do. But first, let me tell you what Hikigaya Hachiman is currently doing.

As said in the last chapter, Hikigaya Hachiman is currently in the bookstore named 'Paige Turner's Books'. This little bookstore is Hikigaya Hachiman's favorite little bookstore, because it's so small and little and because no one really goes there on the days he goes there other than Hikigaya Hachiman and sometimes Hiratsuka Shizuka, Hikigaya's teacher/counselor when she's sometimes tagging along with him when she has nothing better to do and with no reason to go.

Hiratsuka Shizuka is a pretty old- young woman who's younger than 30, but no older than 25. She's pretty self-conscious about her age due to her lack of boyfriend/ husband. The opposite problem of Lorelai, who's a lesbian, and has no girlfriend or wife to speak of. Hiratsuka Shizuka works at Sobu High, the school in which Sagami Minami and Hikigaya Hachiman and Co. all attend. She's mainly a Japanese/English teacher but also works as a student counselor. She herself is the counselor of Hikigaya Hachiman, Sagami Minami, Yukinoshita Yukino, Yuigahama Yui and others.

Due to the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend/husband she constantly finds herself drinking to the point of muttering incomprehensible and often times embarrassing things and acts. She often goes out drinking with her American friend, Lorelai, the owner the small café next to the little bookstore named 'Paige Turner's Books' that Hikigaya Hachiman loves so much and in which Hiratsuka Shizuka sometimes goes with when she has nothing better to do and with no reason to go. To be honest, she does have a reason of going with Hikigaya Hachiman to the little bookstore. Like most of the girls(and the totally not a girl Totsuka Saika) in this series, she has a loving affection for him. She knows it's wrong for a student to have a relationship with a teacher, and she knows it'll never happen so she drinks her sorrows away with her American friend Lorelai which then leads her to muttering incomprehensible and often times embarrassing things and acts.

One such incomprehensible and embarrassing thing she said was confessing her love and adoration for her student, Hikigaya Hachiman, in front of Hikigaya Hachiman no less, who in turn completely ignored the confession and acted as if nothing happened, as per usual, in a slurred state of speech due to her drunkness from drinking with her American friend Lorelai. And one such incomprehensible and embarrassing act she did was experiment with her American friend Lorelai, the lesbian who owns the small little café that Hikigaya and Sagami both love, and is crushing hard on Hiratstuka Shizuka and is having a hard time trying to get a date with her.

Anyhow, enough about Hiratsuka Shizuka and her drunken incomprehensible and embarrassing lesbian escapades with Lorelai, the owner of the small café and her failed confessions, let's talk about Hikigaya Hachiman. Hikigaya Hachiman is currently browsing the light novel section of his favorite little bookstore next to his favorite little café. Both the bookstore and the café are located next to this little fine establishment of a ramen shop, an establishment Hikigaya Hachiman also loves and is often accompanied by Hiratsuka Shizuka and will go to after he visits the café and has an argument with Sagami Minami and manages to escape the clutches of a certain devil all with conflicting feelings and a confused teacher.

At the moment, he's looking at the cover of a light novel titled: "Yahari Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru". He's been staring at the cover and reading the contents for about half an hour. He's not sure whether or not he's hallucinating, or if it's a real light novel that came from a certain author. On the cover of the light novel in question is a wonderful drawing of a pretty young girl with long black hair and glassy blue eyes. Her head is tilted ever so slightly and she's in a sitting position with her knees if front of her and her feet behind her. This girl bears a striking resemblance to Yukinoshita Yukino, his clubmate and president of the Service Club, who's crushing hard on him who in turn has a best friend who's also crushing on him and so on and so forth. Behind the girl that has a striking resemblance to Yukinoshita Yukino, is a stupid looking oaf, who, Hikigaya Hachiman admits, bears a striking resemblance to him. He's standing behind the girl with his hands in his pokets and appears to be walking, he's also looking off to the side, revealing his eyes. That dude's eyes looks just like mine. Hikigaya muttered aloud in his favorite little bookstore.[1]

"That dude's eyes look just like mine" Hikigaya muttered aloud in his favorite little bookstore causing the owner of said bookstore, a young English woman named Paige Turner, to look at him with curious eyes.

Paige Turner is a 26 year old British-Japanese woman who came to Japan with her half Japanese mother and English father, they settled in the city of Chiba when she was 16 years old and attended Sobu High. At Sobu high, she was a popular and well liked girl. Able to speak fluent Japanese, she quickly settled into life, and soon became the Student Council President, a title that now belongs to the super sparkly and heart melting Shiromeguri Meguri, the current StuCo President, who will then be replaced by Isshiki Iroha who won't appear in this story other than this mention. She graduated and attended the University of Tokyo and settled at the Komaba Campus there and worked towards getting a degree in Englsih and Japanese Lit. From there on she worked as an assistant teacher working alongside her former English teacher, Hiratsuka Shizuka. After that, she decided to realize her lifelong dream of opening a bookstore. And so she did, opening it next to a small café of which she knew the owner who in turn knows her former teacher, a girl the café owner is crushing hard on. Small world, huh?

Paige Turner continued to look at Hikigaya Hachiman with a curious gaze, she adjusted her glasses and asked him this:

"Who's eyes look just like yours?" Her tone was sweet and mother-like, a tone which she often used when calling for her two cats, Otis and Ziggy. [2]

Hikigaya Hachiman turned his head and looked at Paige Turner, who still held the curious gaze and answered her question with:

"This guy" Hikigaya Hachiman pointed a long slender finger at the boy on the cover of the light novel he was currently holding "He looks just like me, does he not?"

He showed the cover of the light novel to Paige Turner, who in turn squinted her eyes trying to look at the cover of the light novel. Despite having glasses her eyesight is just two shits away from being fully shitty. I can't really see from right here, she'll say after squinting for 3 more seconds.

"I can't really see from right here" She said after squinting for 3 more seconds, causing Hikigaya Hachiman to walk over to her in a hunched fashion.

Hikigaya Hachiman walked over and showed her the cover of the light novel and held it up to her.

"Here" He said "Can you see now?" The cover was just an inch away from her eyes but Paige Turner still couldn't see.

"No, sorry I still can't see" She told him.

Hikigaya Hachiman responded with moving the cover of the light novel back two inches back, the light novel was now three inches away from her eyeholes. Paige Turner still couldn't see.

"Nope, still can't see sorry." She told Hikigaya "Maybe if you walk back a little farther? Actually take two steps back" She asked.

Hikigaya Hachiman did as told and took two steps back "Can you see now?" He said, still holding up the cover of the light novel.

Paige Turner squinted her eyes and said "Nope, nothing" Paige Turner crossed her arms and then said "How about this? Put your left foot forward a bit and step to the right with your right foot, then bring your feet together and then step backwards with your right foot only and then step to the left with your left foot and finally bring your feet together, I think that'll help."[3]

Hikigaya Hachiman did as told: He put his left foot forward and took a step to the right with his right foot, he then brought his feet together only to step back with his right foot and then stepped to the left with his left foot and finally brought his feet together landing in the exact same position before he did all those crazy moves.

Hikigaya noticed this and asked "Aren't I in the exact same postion? Anyways, can you see it now?"

Paige Turner replied with "Yeah, but it'll come in handy later, trust me. But no I still can't see it"

"What's the point of those glasses, then?" Hikigaya Hachiman asked in minor frustration while he began to develop a hankering for a cup 'o joe.

"It's so I can see. My vision isn't the best, so I use these glasses to help me see" She told him "Come forward two more steps" She told him

He did as told, good boy. Hikigaya Hachiman landed in the exact same position that he had been in, before Paige Turner told him to take two steps back. He put the cover of the light novel three inches from her eyeholes and asked:

"How about now?"

Paige Turner responded with: "Nope, bring it two more inches in" Hikigaya did so.

"Ah! There we go, I can see it now" Paige Turner said.

She took a good look at the cover for a few seconds taking in the person's eyes and said: "Nope, I don't think so, this girl has big blue eyes. You have squinty rotten eyes, I don't see the resemblance, sorry"

"No not the girl, the boy behind her" Hikigaya Hachiman said as he pointed a long slender finger to the boy who had the same eyes as him. Paige Turner's green eyes widened in response.

"Oh!Yeah, he does have the same eyes, actually. Huh, interesting he also looks like you. He has the permanent grimace, those eyes, the black messy hair, the hunched over back, your same uniform from school." She said

Hikigaya Hachiman agreed "Yea, I agree"

Hikigaya Hachiman thought the whole situation with the light novel was odd. It's something that never happened to him. I mean sure, some odd events have happened to him in the past. He got hit got a car when he was little, only to get run over by a bus a second later, somehow he survived with only a scratch on his knee. He was once so good at hide and seek that a rescue team had to be sent into the woods to rescue him, only to realize that the kids he was playing hide and seek with forgot about him and left him there. He once ate a whole pound of M&Ms without throwing up only to have explosive diarreah when he ate bad noodles. A lot of stuff has happened to him, but none this perplexing.

Hikigaya Hachiman took one last look at the light novel with the boy who looks like him on the cover for a few more seconds, he decided to walk back and put it where he found it and moved on to the mystery section. He spent some time looking at some of the books but nothing caught his rotten fish eyes, expect for the light novel he showed Paige Turner. He decided to go back and find it, he found it and brought it to the counter.

"Hey" Hikigaya Hachiman said.

"Howdy" Paige Turner responded.

"I think I'll be buying this light novel here partner" He responded back.

"The one with the boy with your eyes on the cover?" Paiger Turner asked after grabbing the light novel from Hikigaya Hachiman's warm hands.

"Yeah, I have to read through it. It's almost disturbing how some of the events line up with my life" He told her.

"Mm. There are a lot more disturbing things out in this world, Hikigaya" She said eeriely.

Hikigaya Hachiman couldn't help but squint his eyes in suspicion.

"Yeah?" He asked

"Darn tootin'" She replied as she handed him the light novel after ringing it up.

"Well, have a nice day!" She said as she went back to her usual cheery self.

"Yeah, you too" Hikigaya waved her off as her put the light novel in the backpack he uses whenever he comes to the little bookstore he loves so much.

He passed by Paige Turner's two little cats, Otis and Ziggy, who mewed as he walked out the little bookstore and stood outside of the entrance for a few seconds pondering as to what he should do. He started to have a hankering for coffee after he asked Paige Turner 'What's the point of those glasses, then?'. Hikigaya Hachiman decided to go next door to his favorite little café.

Hikigaya Hachiman loves coffee, right?

"Yeah, I love coffee" Hikigaya Hachiman said aloud, causing a few people to look at him with disgust(Something he's totally and completely used to, it doesn't affect him all that much. In fact he quite likes it, it's become a familiar feeling oddly enough, along with getting looks of hatred by just about everyone except the girls and one the guy who are all crushing on him).

His favorite coffee is the wonderfully wonderful and handsomely handsome MAX Coffee. He could drink that all day with no complaints. He seriously loves MAX Coffee, almost as much as he loves Komachi (His little sister) and ramen.

He made it to his favorite little café next to his favorite little bookstore and opened the door. Just like when Sagami opened the door, it made a little jingle so Lorelai knows there's a customer.

"Oh!Hachiman! Welcome, welcome, have a seat next to Minami" Minami? Hikigaya thought.

Why does that name sound so familar? Do I know someone named Minami? Those were the thoughts he was having as he took a seat next to some boy with short red hair and a white button up with short red shorts. Huh, those shorts are pretty short for a guy. He thought as he sat next to the redheaded boy with a white button up and short red shorts that were way to short for him.

Hikigaya looked up at the menu without even looking at the boy next to him, he simply asked for a cup of black coffee, no sugar or cream this time.

"Oh? No sugar or cream this time? Why's that?" Lorelai asked

"I dunno, I'd probably rot my teeth if I keep drinking extra sweet coffee" Hikigaya told her as he watched her get a cup and pour black coffee into his mug and came back to where he and the boy next to him were sitting and set it down in front of his hands.

"That's what I keep telling Minami, but the girl won't listen" Lorelai responded with a teasing smile

Hikigaya took a sip of the bitter coffee and asked: "Who's Minami?"

By this point Sagami lost all will to talk as she was so shocked to find Hikigaya Hachiman seated next to her. Who, it seems, has no idea who she is. This angers Sagami a bit. He literally made me cry on the roof top not even 3 weeks ago, how could he forget? She thought while staring ahead, a sweat forming on her brow.

"Who's Minami? Why she's right next to you Hachiman" Lorelai put a finger on her chin and made a thinking pose then used said finger to point at the boy next to Hikigaya.

Hikigaya Hachiman looked to his right and saw the person named Minami, who was looking straight ahead with sweat forming on their brow. It was at this point that Hikigaya Hachiman realized that the boy sitting next to him, wasn't a boy at all, but instead a girl. The thought almost made him feel a pang of guilt, but that subsided when he saw who occupied the chair.

"Ssssagami Minami" He slithered out

Ssssagami Minami looked at him with the most powerful glare she could muster. She wasn't sure what to do in this situation, as she couldn't possibly cuss him out or anything because they were in front of Lorelai, the most sweetest person on the planet, who would not like to see the two, no less anybody, argue. Hikigaya Hachiman realized this too, and decided to glare at her as well.

Realizing the two were glaring at each other, Lorelai said: "Oh, my. It seems you two have some _history"_ Lorelai wiggled her eyebrows with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips.

"Yeah, I guess we do" Hikigaya said while glaring at Sagami and while taking a sip of the nice cup of coffee in his hand.

"Yeah, I guess we do" Sagami agreed while glaring at Hikigaya and while not taking a sip of a nice cup of coffee 'cause she already finished her's.

"Say" Hikigaya started after he finished glaring at Sagami "This sure is a nice cup of coffee, Lorelai"

"Why thank you, Hachiman" Lorelai said "What a sweet young man you are"

Sagami scoffed on the side, causing Lorelai to smirk and raise her eyebrow, she said "So, tell me. What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing" Sagami was quick to answer, almost two quick, thought Lorelai.

"Oh, yeah? There's obviously something going on between you two" Lorelai wrinkled her nose. "Right, Hachiman?" She asked him while again wiggling her eyebrows with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips.

"No comment" Replied Hikigaya who was still sipping on his coffee.

"Oh, c'mon, you can tell me. Are you two lovers?" Lorelai asked the pair

Hearing this caused Hikigaya to choke on his coffee and nearly dropping the mug, while Sagami could only blush in an uncharacteristic manner. Sagami wasn't really big when it came to relationships or love and lovemaking. She had never had a boyfriend/ girlfriend before, though she had gotten a few confessions from a few boys and quite a few more girls. She had wanted to date the great 'Prince Hayama', but was deterred by Miura Yumiko: AKA the Queen Bee of School, or The Fire Queen. Both titles suit the blonde fiery drill well. Sagami wasn't far from her in terms of status, she was at least the third in terms of status, Yukinoshita being the second, whether or not Yukinoshita knows of her status is unclear.

Hikigaya on the other hand, is quite possibly the lowest of the low in terms of status, although he's pretty high up there in terms of handsomeness. However, that handsomeness is completely ruined by his rotten eyes and his completely unremarkable presence.

"Hmm, perhaps I've stepped on a landmine. So you are lovers!?" Lorelai asked

"No!" Sagami said while Hikigaya finished choking and went back to sipping his deliciously delectable coffee.

"Then what's with the obvious sexual tension between you two?" Lorelai asked, causing Hikigaya to choke on his coffee and nearly dropping the mug again, and also causing Sagami to blush in an uncharacteristic manner again.

"There's no sexual tension between us, you're...you're just imagining things!" Sagami told Lorelai, who looked at her with a raised brow and thought about the last time she was imagining things.

"Sure there isn't, I'll leave you two alone, I have customers to attend to. Besides I can just ask a Shizuka, or rather Hiratsuka-sensei to you, about you two if I really wanted to" Lorelai told the two.

Hikigaya and Sagami both thought about what Lorelai just said. Lorelai knows Hiratsuka-sensei? They both thought. Would a grown-ass 30 year old woman ask another grown-ass less than 30 but older than 25 year old teacher about two teen's possible relationship? They both thought. They both figured yes for both of those questions, seeing as how Lorelai and Hiratuska-sensei are, both being rather old and with no SO.

Lorelai did as she said, leaving the two to their own devices. Hikigaya kept on sipping his coffee, making sure not to choke again, and Sagami kept on staring straight ahead with a sweat on her brow complete with a small crimson blush spread across her cheeks.

The two remained like so for about a minute or two in an awkward silence full of awkwardness and maybe, probably with a little smidge of sexual tension, Sagami broke the silence first, opting to ask why Hikigaya didn't remember who she was.

"Hey? Did you really not remember me?" Sagami asked after she decided to break the silence first, opting to ask why Hikigaya didn't remember who she was.

Hikigaya, who didn't choke on his coffee this time, asked "What do you mean?" and looked over to her.

When Hikigaya looked over to Sagami, something stirred inside her and caused her to get all warm and fuzzy. What's with this? She thought. When Hikigaya looked over he gave her the most unintentional look of handsome confusion. His features were accentuated by the coffee mug on his lips, his brows arched ever so subtlety and his dark black eyes boring into her own grey-purple eyes, or some stupid romantic mumbo jumbo you see in shitty romance.

"No, nothing. Ne-nevermind" She said as she looked away from him.

Hikigaya could only shrug and went back to sipping his coffee, something he's been somehow doing for the past few minutes.

After a few more minutes of awkward silence full of awkwardness and maybe, probably with a little smidge of sexual tension, Hikigaya broke the silence first, opting to ask how Sagami knows Lorelai. Doing this is considered unnatural to Hikigaya, and he admits so, but after spending time with the Service Club, he's been able to start conversations.

"So... how do you know Lorelai?" He asked after he decided to break the silence after Sagami broke the silence, opting to ask how Sagami knew Lorelai.

"Why do you care?" Sagami said defensively.

Hikigaya shrugged "Just wondering, is all" and went back to sipping his coffee only to realize it was all gone and has been for a while now.

After a few seconds of silence Sagami sighed and said "Well, if you want to know, I've known Lorelai since I was around three"

"Yeah?" Hikigaya asked

"Yeah. She's basically my third mom" Sagami told him

Hikigaya raised a brow at her comment "Third?" He asked

"Yeah, my first mom died when I was five. My dad remarried when I was seven to my current mom, he left soon after. Both of my moms have been taking me to this café since I was a kid" Sagami said, wondering why she was spilling personal information about herself to the guy she hates.

"You're dad left you?... I know how that feels. I take it you hate the guy?" Hikigaya said

"Yeah, I haven't heard from him in years, and to be honest: I don't want to. Him leaving kinda messed me up." Sagami told him and asked "Did your dad leave too?"

"Yeah, after Komachi, my little sister, was born he packed his bags and left. It screwed me up, too. I didn't know what it meant when I was a kid, to have my dad leave us. I remember thinking he just went on vacation for a bit, only to never come back because his flight back home kept getting delayed" Hikigaya told her. [4]

Sagami only gave him an understanding nod.

To think that these two would have something in common, huh? Both of their fathers left them at a young age. Both of them got screwed in the head after that, skewing their views on life.

Here in this little café next to this little bookstore next to a little ramen shop, are two young teenagers who hate each other. Little do they know that today is the day their views of each other are going to change. Each will realize something about the other, and get closer in the process. Each will go through a certain set of trials today and come out in the end.

However, unknown to them, the most devilish of all devils stands outside, peeping through the window like a creep while her companion, a middle aged single schoolteacher, waits at the door. This devil will come in any second now and complicate things for the two teenagers, and the middle aged single schoolteacher will make the owner of this little café a very happy girl.

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 **Next chapter: Then Cometh the Devil**

[1] Obvious reference to Wataru Watari's My Teen Romantic Comedy Snafu Light Novel.

[2] Otis and Ziggy, or Ziggy and Otis, however you prefer, are the two sons of Maxin Tarnow, the main protagonist in Thomas Pynchon's 2013 novel Bleeding Edge.

[3] This is the classic box-step dance.

[4] This version of Hikigaya has a father who left him after Komachi was born. I know this isn't canon or anything, but I thought it fits into this story.

* * *

 **Response to Reviews: NOTE: It shows 17 reviews, but I only count 15. I'm not sure if that's a glitch or something or actual reviews that aren't showing up for me, does anybody else see 17 reviews but only count 15?**

 **ImaNukeYourFace: Holy shit, thank you for such an amazing review. This has to be one of the greatest reviews I've ever laid my eyes on, thank you. And no I haven't read Infinite Jest, although I am reading The Pale King by DFW. I actually really like the constant repeating and circular references within books, my two all-time favorite novels did this all the time. And as for the footnotes, I don't think they'll be that complex, though I will try because they look pretty fun.**

 **Umami08/Vercingetorix1234/Monkey999Boy: Thank you all for the reviews. And as for all your comments on the narration/ details: I put a lot of what would seem like unnecessary details, but quite a few of them will be referenced in later chapters. They're not there for the hell of it, they're there for a reason. Glad you all like it, though.**

 **Ggnore: Thank you.**

 **KairuG: Yeah, sorry about that, I don't usually write in 3rd person, pretty much ever. And yes, Haruno is more of a teaser/ devil's advocate than anything else, but this version of Haruno has feelings for Hikigaya. Hope that's cool with ya, thanks for the review.**

 **jam999chgo: Thanks.**

 **wildarms13: Thank you, I hope more Sagami stories start popping up. I only know of three that are on this site.**

 **RalphZiggy: Yeah, I took me 10 years to finally do it after that one guest asked for it, here's hoping other authors will start writing about this pairing.**

 **OmegaEleven: Thank you for your review. I hope more Sagami stories start popping up as well. Your first point is a really good point: A lot of girls(Plus one guy) already like Hikigaya (In this story, at least), however, does Hikigaya like any of them? It all boils down to what Hikigaya wants, something he'll decide with a nudge from a certain someone. I'm glad the narration made you laugh, I've actually never seen the movie you mentioned. And yep, Sagami being a side character with pretty much nothing known about her gave me the opportunity to create a backstory for her. Thanks for the review again.**

 **wHYaREyOUeVENrEADINGtHIS: No, it's all cool. Glad you're liking something you're supposed to hate :)**

 **Socia: Thank you for your kind words.**

 **GUEST: YES, IT IS HERE! IF YOU'RE THE GUEST WHO ASKED FOR IT, I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO FLIPPIN' LONG.**


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